even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
