"it" just moved
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
