I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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