brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
