i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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