super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
