At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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