theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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