doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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