im drinking this country out of the recession.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
