Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
