You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
