i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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