Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
