Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
