U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
