there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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