Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
