Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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