Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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