he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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