Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
