I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
