I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
