I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I love you. Go after that dick
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
