fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Never underestimate the power of titties
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
