You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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