Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
