Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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