As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
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