When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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