He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
