Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
