I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
