i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
