I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
