um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
