yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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