I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
