that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize