so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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