so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
