Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
