just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize