garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
