he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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