oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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