and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
