You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
