my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
