We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You were trust falling into bushes
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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