But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize