does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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