just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
