we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize