By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm both gender and math confused
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
