i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
