rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
