C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i believe in u and ur pee
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
