Pappa wants mamma naked
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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