Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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