She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
