my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
