ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Mom said you looked used
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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