What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
