i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
