He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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