yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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