Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize