Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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