its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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