doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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