So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize