Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So much rum. So many feels.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
