I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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