So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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