she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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