The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
